Getting random

Whispering soul, a lingering thought,
All is dark, and everything seems right.
Shadows,thoughts, ideas and dreams,
Come out to play, creating the scene.

The bus travels, to a place unknown,
But by faith, everything is shown.
Shadows, thoughts, ideas and dreams,
Enjoy themselves, frolicking in the scene.

The bus stops, the doors open,
Where to now? your face sullen.
Shadows, thoughts, ideas and dreams,
Settle heavily, like fog on the sea.

Suddenly all is bright,
the curtain of of reality, now lifted.
On your face, nothing but dismay,
and soon, onto the ground there your body lays.

As you can see, im getting a tad too much time on my hands. Created this i dunno what thing or rubbish from my head.... Looking at it, I think it really makes no sense... But i guess i'll just leave it here to remind myself that having too much time to think is not a good idea... Maybe also a sense of accomplishment having spent about 30 minutes thinking this thing up and putting words into it... Cheap thrill, but who cares? :)

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? Psm 42:3

Jaded

Yesterday was great... Thanks for that... Today was hell, thanks for that too.... I thought that everything would be ok now... Apparently the minute i saw you, i knew that something wasn't right... And i was correct... Throughout the day, almost everything we did, I could sense that something was bothering you... But you only chose to let it all out when we sat down to talk about it... I can still see it in my mind... Both of us, under the tree, outside plaza sing, me holding an empty cup of soya bean and u with the finished red bean pancake plastic bag in your hand...

Throughout the whole thing, from carl's junior right till G2000, and the bus-ride to nowhere, it seemed distant... WE seemed distant.... And when we finally talked about it, i dunno why, but i wasn't as surprised as i thought i would be... I mean, even though it was the THIRD time we're talking about it, it was still different... The raw emotions and thoughts that went through my head a thousand times faster than i could process them....

This post might or might not be taken down... It depends on how things go... Should I still pray about it?

Where is God in this? I dunno
What is His plan for this/us? I dunno
HE will bring us through it. I know...

Somehow, knowing what to do, and actually doing it, takes much greater courage than actually thought possible... Of course there's pain, but as I said just now, I've been through much worse... please take care of yourself too...

Dislocation

The following happens on the 24th of October at SISPEC SOC(Standard Obstacle Course) ground.

PTI(Physical Training Instructor) says: Ok, now you run towards the low-wall, jump onto the wall and try to hang onto the ledge and push yourself up over it.

Me: Ok, so just run and try to clear ah?

PTI: YA...

The next thing happens:
As I push myself up against the wall, my entire left elbow went backwards and there was a 'crack' sound at the shoulder joint. I immediately fell to the ground and clutched my shoulder as the whole shoulder went numb. The PTI asked if i heard a 'crack' sound, and I was like "Dey, I FELT a crack lah".

So the medic came running towards me and immobilised my entire arm and sent me to the medical centre. From there, I was sent to NUH to take x-rays to see what happened. The doctor, as well as the camp MO, initially feared that there was a posterior fracture in the shoulder. Then, the doctor said that probably have to pop the shoulder back into place and I was like "WHAT??!!! POP it back in??" Cos I know that this procedure is EXTREMELY PAINFUL, then the doctor was saying that it was ok cos she'll give me jabs to numb my shoulder first. Ya right, as if that would make me feel much better.

But thank God, as I was lying in the A&E room with a roomful of other people sick and dying and whatever not (really, that's the A&E for those who haven't been there before), just before she gave me the jabs, there was another A&E doctor with her who said that I looked rather comfortable for a guy with a fractured shoulder. So he asked my to try lifting my arm, and subsequently, shoulder, to the best that I could. Amazingly, i could move to about 50% of normal moving range, and the doctor said something like " Ok, I think this guy is really lucky. For some reason or not, his shoulder managed to re-align itself back into position." He further went on about how because I have a muscular shoulder (it wasn't me who said that, really!), the muscles helped hold the shoulder in place.

I cannot tell you how relieved I was when i heard that, I was like "so no need to pop the shoulder back in ah?" and the doctor said yeah. Thanks for all the prayers guys.... God really did take care of me i guess ;)

So now i'm given 8 days leave till thursday, friday need to go back to camp. Going to see my uncle on thursday for his opinion. Hopefully everything will go well :)

Thy kingdom come, THY will be done, on earth as it is in heaven...