Jaded

Yesterday was great... Thanks for that... Today was hell, thanks for that too.... I thought that everything would be ok now... Apparently the minute i saw you, i knew that something wasn't right... And i was correct... Throughout the day, almost everything we did, I could sense that something was bothering you... But you only chose to let it all out when we sat down to talk about it... I can still see it in my mind... Both of us, under the tree, outside plaza sing, me holding an empty cup of soya bean and u with the finished red bean pancake plastic bag in your hand...

Throughout the whole thing, from carl's junior right till G2000, and the bus-ride to nowhere, it seemed distant... WE seemed distant.... And when we finally talked about it, i dunno why, but i wasn't as surprised as i thought i would be... I mean, even though it was the THIRD time we're talking about it, it was still different... The raw emotions and thoughts that went through my head a thousand times faster than i could process them....

This post might or might not be taken down... It depends on how things go... Should I still pray about it?

Where is God in this? I dunno
What is His plan for this/us? I dunno
HE will bring us through it. I know...

Somehow, knowing what to do, and actually doing it, takes much greater courage than actually thought possible... Of course there's pain, but as I said just now, I've been through much worse... please take care of yourself too...